I’ve been in a slump lately. Upon finally sitting still, with the intention of talking to God, it became very clear that I didn’t really want to. I haven’t wanted to worship or pray really either. It feels like…apathy. An indifference. Jesus said he would spit out the luke warm water. (Rev. 3:15-17)
I certainly don’t want to be apathetic. My desire is to love God well and to love His children well. Not to mention we were commanded to do so. In the quiet moment I realized, more likely reminded by the Holy Spirit, that gratitude is the answer. I recalled hearing someone say that if you have to work up yourself to worship, then there is a problem. Wanting to worship/thank God should be natural, it should be the natural response of your joy. If I don’t feel grateful, if I don’t feel there’s something to thank God for…Almighty God, savior of the world, most loving entity ever… then the problem lies with me. I fell into ungratefulness. Something didn’t go my way, or a series of somethings, and I got into a poor attitude.
I began to remember what gratitude felt like, what an attitude of gratitude felt like, what it was to live life feeling grateful for whatever it is you have right then and there. It’s such a game changer. I’m not sure if life slowing down is required for that attitude, or if it is a response, but within it, life, I mean LIFE, becomes much more present. I notice the birds chirping, the blue sky and white clouds, little kids laughing, I see joy everywhere. I see Gods love everywhere. It makes my circumstances much smaller and I remember where the source of my peace and joy is from.
Thank you Father, from the very bottom of my heart, for Slow Joy.